Introducing TBSim Version 0.0

From: Prof Knotagain, May 26, 1998
Newsgroups: rec.boats
Subject: Trailer backing (Humor)

Trailer Backing Simulator

New from TLM (Twisted Little Mind) Software Ltd, Inc, Co., E.P.A, U.S.A, E.I.E.I.O. Software to simulate trailer backing on your PC!! All You Need to perfect trailer backing at your home or office PC. (TLM Inc. recommends that you use your office PC so that your children do not hear you cuss during the initial trailer backing simulations)

TBSim Features:

Multi-mirror simulation: the high-priced version can simultaneously simulate each of 6 views (all possible driver's views are displayed, including one for a view of your wife rolling her eyes as you back your trailer senselessly)

High Priced/Low Priced versions,

-High price version (six video monitors required) $1,800,000 - none yet sold because anyone who can afford it would have a yacht waiting at the harbor with no need to trailer!!!

-Low price version (one video monitor required, but a swivel chair, so you can sit with your back to the video monitor and look over your shoulder, is recommended) $18 - one sold already (to my dear old mommy)

Left wife/Right wife options: TBSim can simulate a wife that points right for the trailer rear to go right, or it can simulate a wife that points right for you to turn the car to the right, or to the left, or whatever, you know what she means.

Children simulation: can simulate children running randomly behind your trailer while backing. Includes a violent father screaming "Johnny if you ever run behind a moving trailer again I will kill you dead!!!" The high-priced version simulates a dog pissing on your trailer wheel. Left or right trailer wheel can be selected.

Real-life sounds of trailer lights crunching on posts.

Impossible recovery situations: TBSim can simulate the geometrically impossible condition of jack-knifing a trailer into a position that is impossible to recover from, so you can learn to beg a bystander to help.

Interactive Toy Steering Wheel adapter: an adapter can be purchased separately so you can connect your child's toy steering wheel to the PC. The steering wheel and adapter do absolutely nothing but can have a calming effect during high-anxiety trailer backing episodes.

Jerk Bystander options: TBSim can simulate people standing around, with nothing better to do than watch you struggle to back your trailer. Optional jerks include: drunken fishermen laughing at your every move, pissed-off camping wives leering at you, insolent teenagers yelling "who taught you to drive", children asking daddy "why does he keep going forwards again?"

ORDER YOURS NOW!!!
LIMITED TIME OFFER $19.95 (that's right, $19.95)
ORDERS RECEIVED BEFORE MY INTERNET SERVICE PROVIDER REFUSES SERVICE WILL RECEIVE SOMETHING VERY NICE, FREE!!!

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